How to Talk to Your Kids About Sex Without Shame
Mama Said There’ll Be Days Like This – Part 2
Let’s be real. Just reading the title probably made some of you cringe. Maybe your parents didn’t talk to you about sex—or if they did, it was weird, vague, or soaked in shame. But here you are now, a parent, wondering how on earth you’re supposed to handle this with your own kids without messing them up.
I get it. I’ve sat across from enough parents in counseling to know this is one of the most avoided topics in Christian homes. But it shouldn’t be.
Talking to your kids about sex isn’t a one-time, awkward lecture. It’s an ongoing discipleship opportunity. And if we don’t disciple our kids, the world will.
This Isn’t About The Talk
It’s about a lifetime of talks. If your only plan is to wait until they hit puberty and then drop a bomb of awkward information in the middle of a Tuesday night dinner… please don’t. Start early. Start small. Start often.
You are your child’s first and most important teacher. God gave them to you on purpose.
What I’ve Learned (the Hard Way) About Talking to Kids About Sex
Here are the big lessons I’ve learned from counseling families and from stumbling through these conversations myself:
1. Start Early and Keep It Simple
You don’t have to give them everything at once. Just give them what’s appropriate for their age. A toddler can learn “God made our bodies” and “private parts are private.” A preschooler can understand that babies grow in mommies’ tummies. A second grader can learn that sex is something special God designed for marriage.
When you build layer upon layer over time, it won’t feel shocking or weird. It’ll just be part of life.
2. Use Real Words and Calm Faces
If you giggle, whisper, or act uncomfortable, they’ll know. And they’ll learn: this is something we don’t talk about.
Call body parts by their proper names. Explain things in plain language. If they’re not weirded out, don’t you be. Your calmness tells them: this is safe to ask about.
3. Don’t Just Say “No”—Say Why
We can’t just tell our kids that sex outside of marriage is bad. We need to show them God’s beautiful design and why it’s worth protecting.
Sex isn’t dirty. It’s sacred. It’s not something to be ashamed of—it’s something to be honored and stewarded. And like all good gifts, it works best within God’s boundaries.
4. Don’t Wait for Them to Ask
Some kids never will. Or they’ll ask someone else. Or they’ll find something they weren’t meant to find and draw their own conclusions.
Proactively bring it up in developmentally appropriate ways. Use books. Use questions. Use car rides. Don’t leave this up to chance.
5. When (Not If) They Hear Something, Be First with the Truth
They’re going to hear stuff. From cousins. From school. From TV. From friends with older siblings. You want them to know: I can ask Mom and Dad anything. And I’ll get the truth—without judgment.
One mom I know says, “I never want Google to be my child’s teacher.” Amen to that.
6. Frame It With Scripture
God made sex. It’s His idea. He’s not embarrassed by it, and we don’t need to be either. Teach your kids to understand sex through the lens of Scripture—from creation, to covenant, to Christ.
“Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.” – Hebrews 13:4
7. Keep the Door Open
This isn’t a box you check and move on. It’s a relationship you build. Keep the door open. Keep checking in. Keep it normal to talk about these things—so when the stakes get higher, your kids already know they can come to you.
And when you mess it up (because you will), just say, “Hey, I want to do a better job talking about this. Can we try again?”
The Bottom Line
Your kids are going to learn about sex. The only question is: who will teach them?
Let it be you. Let it be grounded in truth, shaped by love, and rooted in the Word of God.
You don’t need to be perfect. You just need to be willing. God gave these kids to you—and He will give you what you need.
In the next post, we’ll talk about another tough topic: gender and identity. What do you say when your child hears things at school or on TV that don’t match what they’ve been taught at home?
You don’t have to fear that conversation either. We’ll walk through it together.