Crisis & High-Conflict Services

Yes. Many people live for years unsure whether what they are experiencing “counts.” Part of the reason is that we picture abuse as a single violent event, when it takes many forms — emotional, spiritual, financial, physical, or sexual — and is better understood as a pattern than a moment: one person using control, while the other lives under fear or pressure to their own harm. The clearer question is often not “has it turned physical,” but whether you are living under someone’s control, afraid of what happens when you don’t comply. If that describes your home, it is worth a conversation — and you will not be told what to do. The goal is to help you see your situation truthfully and choose your own next step. Tom Pryde’s writing on recognizing love versus control may help you begin.

If one person in a marriage is using control and the other is living in fear, ordinary marriage counseling can do harm rather than good. Standard couples work assumes two people negotiating in good faith; when that isn’t the case, the process itself becomes one more tool of control, and the person being harmed often leaves worse off than before. This is not a knock on marriage counseling — for two people genuinely turning toward each other, it is some of the most valuable work Banner does. But abuse is not a marriage problem to be settled between equals. It is a pattern of control that has to be named and addressed on its own terms, and recognizing that difference is often the first real step toward help.

Yes. High-conflict divorce and custody situations — especially where one person manipulates, controls, or won’t negotiate in good faith — need more than ordinary advice. Tom helps you understand what you are actually dealing with, protect your children from being caught in the middle, work wisely with your attorney, and avoid the missteps that make volatile situations worse. He does not take over your case or replace your lawyer; he brings clarity and strategy to something most people have never had to navigate.

Carefully, and rarely alone. Abuse is far more common in congregations than most leaders realize, and these situations can turn dangerous when they are met with good intentions but the wrong understanding. A push toward quick reconciliation, or an apology accepted too soon, can leave the person who was harmed in greater danger. Tom helps church leaders respond wisely: telling genuine repentance from a convincing performance of it, protecting the vulnerable, and knowing the limits of what pastoral care alone can carry. You can read Tom’s guidance on telling genuine repentance from worldly sorrow.

Yes. On-site crisis response is a core part of this work: Tom comes to churches and organizations to help leadership navigate what is happening, respond rightly to those affected, and begin restoring what was broken. Reach out to our Care Coordinator and the conversation will be handled with urgency and discretion.

Yes, and reaching out is a mark of good practice, not failure. Not every situation fits within one counselor’s training, and high-conflict and abuse cases in particular can turn dangerous when they are met with the wrong tools, or with good advice offered at the wrong moment. Tom works alongside you, not over you: he brings hard-won experience with the legal, spiritual, and relational dynamics these cases involve, while you keep your relationship with your client. You can read Tom’s framework for recognizing an abusive relational system.

No. This is consulting and pastoral care, not clinical therapy. Tom is a pastor and high-conflict consultant with decades of experience, not a licensed counselor, and the two kinds of work are kept distinct on purpose. When clinical care is needed, Banner’s licensed counselors work alongside Tom under the same roof, so the people inside the crisis are cared for while the crisis itself is being handled.

No. Tom works with people of every background, and a crisis does not check anyone’s beliefs first. But he approaches everything from a Christian perspective: his counsel is formed by Scripture, and his aim is order restored, not just conflict managed. We are honest about that up front, because honesty serves everyone better than vagueness does.

No. Banner is based in Monroe, Louisiana, but this work is not local. Tom serves families, churches, and organizations across the country, working by video for most consultation and coaching, and traveling on site when the situation calls for it.

This is serious work at a real price, and what it costs depends entirely on what the situation requires: a few coaching sessions and an on-site organizational response are very different engagements. Rather than post numbers that won’t fit your situation, we talk it through plainly when you speak with our Care Coordinator.